Monday, September 03, 2007
The Kinitawowi & Bally Show, episode 23
K: He [Patrick Moore] fulfils all the requirements of being an eccentric, in that he wears a monocle.
*Recorded at TM's house, Leeds, 6/4/07*
---
K: I refuse to have a walk-off, mostly because I refuse to put my hand down my pants.
*pause*
K: In public.
*Recorded at TM's house, Leeds, 7/4/07*
---
K: What do we need from Asda?
TM: Food!
B: I may just give up and go to McDonald's.
*pause*
B: I haven't had enough trans fats today.
*Recorded at K's flat, Manchester, 28/4/07*
---
K: So you're trying to tell me there's a one in three chance you're wearing your Evil Pants?
*Recorded at the City Ground, Nottingham, 5/5/07*
---
*on his rotating insults for B*
K: Maybe you should print cards and do Insult Bingo.
*pause*
K: Bastard. House!
*Recorded at Holiday Inn Express, Milton Keynes, 12/5/07*
---
*on Nethack pets*
K: My default name for a dog is Poochy. And for a cat... Miss Kitty Fantastico.
B: Not Garfield?
K: No. And for a horse?
B: Arthur?
K: Celine Dion.
*Recorded on a train between Leeds and Dewsbury, 13/5/07*
---
*K begins another game on videogame Smash T.V., after dying horribly*
K: Let's try again, without the incompetence.
*Recorded at K's flat, Manchester, 18/5/07*
---
*long pause in conversation*
B: The hamster running the wheel in my brain is frantically saying, 'Quick, think of something to say, think of something to say!', and of course, it's not allowing me to think of anything to say.
K: And yet you have, in fact, said something.
B: Yes! It's quite clever, really.
K: I think it's sad that you've been defeated by the reverse psychology of a hamster.
*Recorded at B's house, Stoke-on-Trent, 22/6/07*
*Recorded at TM's house, Leeds, 6/4/07*
K: I refuse to have a walk-off, mostly because I refuse to put my hand down my pants.
*pause*
K: In public.
*Recorded at TM's house, Leeds, 7/4/07*
K: What do we need from Asda?
TM: Food!
B: I may just give up and go to McDonald's.
*pause*
B: I haven't had enough trans fats today.
*Recorded at K's flat, Manchester, 28/4/07*
K: So you're trying to tell me there's a one in three chance you're wearing your Evil Pants?
*Recorded at the City Ground, Nottingham, 5/5/07*
*on his rotating insults for B*
K: Maybe you should print cards and do Insult Bingo.
*pause*
K: Bastard. House!
*Recorded at Holiday Inn Express, Milton Keynes, 12/5/07*
*on Nethack pets*
K: My default name for a dog is Poochy. And for a cat... Miss Kitty Fantastico.
B: Not Garfield?
K: No. And for a horse?
B: Arthur?
K: Celine Dion.
*Recorded on a train between Leeds and Dewsbury, 13/5/07*
*K begins another game on videogame Smash T.V., after dying horribly*
K: Let's try again, without the incompetence.
*Recorded at K's flat, Manchester, 18/5/07*
*long pause in conversation*
B: The hamster running the wheel in my brain is frantically saying, 'Quick, think of something to say, think of something to say!', and of course, it's not allowing me to think of anything to say.
K: And yet you have, in fact, said something.
B: Yes! It's quite clever, really.
K: I think it's sad that you've been defeated by the reverse psychology of a hamster.
*Recorded at B's house, Stoke-on-Trent, 22/6/07*
Sandhurst Party May 11-13 2007
CosmicAvatar: I wonder where Ver Lads have got to? Maybe Dave had to stop for a wank.
CosmicAvatar & Caz: *hysterical laughter*
Caz: In a McDonald's cup!
CosmicAvatar: Ah, he was having a McWank.
---
*CosmicAvatar and Caz are discussing the joys of having one's dream job*
CosmicAvatar: I'm an analyst! Featured word: "anal".
Caz: I'm a library assistant!
CosmicAvatar: Featured word: "ass"!
---
Del: If anyone wants to feed him [Rohan], feel free.
H: My left breast is feeling a bit lumpy...
---
Callie: I remember all the cables.
Tenchi_Muyo: We men love playing with cables.
Bally: You are going somewhere I don't want to follow, Andy.
Tenchi_Muyo: Come on, I know you like it too.
Bally: *Still* not following you.
Tenchi_Muyo: Come on, Simon, I'll suck you in if -
*realises what he's just said*
---
CosmicAvatar: I was stabbed in the back with something long and hard!
Tenchi_Muyo: It can't have been me, then.
---
Tenchi_Muyo: I love jumping on the kernels.
Sam_Spade: The Colonel's what?
---
*Bally is stacking blocks only for Rohan to destroy the towers*
mUrt: It's like Tetris: The Movie!
---
*on strawberry bonbons*
Mr_Bump: They're hard! They're supposed to be soft!
Tenchi_Muyo: Look, just suck the balls.
mUrt: Yes, just suck my pink, soft balls!
Bally: Not your chocolate salty ones, then?
mUrt: No, I lost them...
---
Del: Ouch! He [Rohan] just pinched me, really hard!
H: I hope you hit him.
---
*on the UK's entry in the Eurovision Song Contest, Scooch*
mUrt: Can you imagine the casting call for this? "Wanted: campest men alive. Must be partial to tight trousers".
---
Kahlan: "Can I offer you something to suck on for landing, sir"? I mean! What manner of airline is this... and why haven't I been on it?
---
Tenchi_Muyo: Gives 'Aer Lingus' a whole new meaning.
---
CosmicAvatar: Did I just hear "Wankerov"?
Tenchi_Muyo: You might have done!
---
*on the Bulgarian Eurovision Song Contest entry*
Mr_Bump: "See this young lass there, eeee?" Has this been translated into Yorkshire?
---
Del: If he cries, pat his bottom.
Sam_Spade: Always works for me.
---
CosmicAvatar: Anyone for a Pimm's top-up?! Going once, going twice, going down my throat!
---
*Tenchi_Muyo is in a dress*
Tenchi_Muyo: Can I put my penis back on?
---
*the UK's Eurovision Song Contest entry has received seven points from Ireland*
H: Yeah, but we're still in the relegation zone! We'll be relegated to America!
---
*the UK move fourth from bottom*
H: Now we're in the Intertoto Cup...
---
*to CosmicAvatar*
Tenchi_Muyo: Be careful, you're going to fall off that floor!
---
Kahlan: When you say "My sore lips burn like a fire", there's a cream that will fix that.
---
*on distracting CosmicAvatar and Bally on photos*
Kinitawowi: I was making gestures.
Tenchi_Muyo: You were encouraging him to wank on camera.
Kahlan: You sick fuck, Ellis.
---
*Kahlan and CosmicAvatar are hugging*
Kahlan: Fart on me, and I'll kill you.
---
*H has passed Mr_Bump with a full bottle of wine*
Mr_Bump: *whistles* Come by, come by!
---
Kahlan: Nothing says love like projectile vomit.
---
Kinitawowi: It's Amanda and the drinking game! Basically, whenever something happens on-screen, you drink.
Bally: Look! A door opened!
---
Kahlan: You know what happens when WDers riot? They correct your grammar!
---
Caz: Whoo-hoo! Laurie has nipples!
---
Bally: I don't know what he did, but he made me twitch and I kicked something over.
Mr_Bump: Twitch? That was a tremble.
Sam_Spade: Let's call it a 'spasm'.
---
Mr_Bump: All the way here, I was going down the A30, right? And it [sat-nav] kept saying, "Turn around, go back". Then, it started complaining: "You never take me anywhere nice."
---
Kinitawowi: Did you hear that? He called me a gentleman! The shit!
Sam_Spade: Easy mistake to make.
---
Tenchi_Muyo: Wikipedia is just the pub on the Internet.
---
*on a friend of Mr_Bump's*
Kinitawowi: Does he play World Of Warcraft?
Mr_Bump: Yes.
Kinitawowi: Kill him.
Mr_Bump: I suspect that might be a bit unfair.
CosmicAvatar & Caz: *hysterical laughter*
Caz: In a McDonald's cup!
CosmicAvatar: Ah, he was having a McWank.
*CosmicAvatar and Caz are discussing the joys of having one's dream job*
CosmicAvatar: I'm an analyst! Featured word: "anal".
Caz: I'm a library assistant!
CosmicAvatar: Featured word: "ass"!
Del: If anyone wants to feed him [Rohan], feel free.
H: My left breast is feeling a bit lumpy...
Callie: I remember all the cables.
Tenchi_Muyo: We men love playing with cables.
Bally: You are going somewhere I don't want to follow, Andy.
Tenchi_Muyo: Come on, I know you like it too.
Bally: *Still* not following you.
Tenchi_Muyo: Come on, Simon, I'll suck you in if -
*realises what he's just said*
CosmicAvatar: I was stabbed in the back with something long and hard!
Tenchi_Muyo: It can't have been me, then.
Tenchi_Muyo: I love jumping on the kernels.
Sam_Spade: The Colonel's what?
*Bally is stacking blocks only for Rohan to destroy the towers*
mUrt: It's like Tetris: The Movie!
*on strawberry bonbons*
Mr_Bump: They're hard! They're supposed to be soft!
Tenchi_Muyo: Look, just suck the balls.
mUrt: Yes, just suck my pink, soft balls!
Bally: Not your chocolate salty ones, then?
mUrt: No, I lost them...
Del: Ouch! He [Rohan] just pinched me, really hard!
H: I hope you hit him.
*on the UK's entry in the Eurovision Song Contest, Scooch*
mUrt: Can you imagine the casting call for this? "Wanted: campest men alive. Must be partial to tight trousers".
Kahlan: "Can I offer you something to suck on for landing, sir"? I mean! What manner of airline is this... and why haven't I been on it?
Tenchi_Muyo: Gives 'Aer Lingus' a whole new meaning.
CosmicAvatar: Did I just hear "Wankerov"?
Tenchi_Muyo: You might have done!
*on the Bulgarian Eurovision Song Contest entry*
Mr_Bump: "See this young lass there, eeee?" Has this been translated into Yorkshire?
Del: If he cries, pat his bottom.
Sam_Spade: Always works for me.
CosmicAvatar: Anyone for a Pimm's top-up?! Going once, going twice, going down my throat!
*Tenchi_Muyo is in a dress*
Tenchi_Muyo: Can I put my penis back on?
*the UK's Eurovision Song Contest entry has received seven points from Ireland*
H: Yeah, but we're still in the relegation zone! We'll be relegated to America!
*the UK move fourth from bottom*
H: Now we're in the Intertoto Cup...
*to CosmicAvatar*
Tenchi_Muyo: Be careful, you're going to fall off that floor!
Kahlan: When you say "My sore lips burn like a fire", there's a cream that will fix that.
*on distracting CosmicAvatar and Bally on photos*
Kinitawowi: I was making gestures.
Tenchi_Muyo: You were encouraging him to wank on camera.
Kahlan: You sick fuck, Ellis.
*Kahlan and CosmicAvatar are hugging*
Kahlan: Fart on me, and I'll kill you.
*H has passed Mr_Bump with a full bottle of wine*
Mr_Bump: *whistles* Come by, come by!
Kahlan: Nothing says love like projectile vomit.
Kinitawowi: It's Amanda and the drinking game! Basically, whenever something happens on-screen, you drink.
Bally: Look! A door opened!
Kahlan: You know what happens when WDers riot? They correct your grammar!
Caz: Whoo-hoo! Laurie has nipples!
Bally: I don't know what he did, but he made me twitch and I kicked something over.
Mr_Bump: Twitch? That was a tremble.
Sam_Spade: Let's call it a 'spasm'.
Mr_Bump: All the way here, I was going down the A30, right? And it [sat-nav] kept saying, "Turn around, go back". Then, it started complaining: "You never take me anywhere nice."
Kinitawowi: Did you hear that? He called me a gentleman! The shit!
Sam_Spade: Easy mistake to make.
Tenchi_Muyo: Wikipedia is just the pub on the Internet.
*on a friend of Mr_Bump's*
Kinitawowi: Does he play World Of Warcraft?
Mr_Bump: Yes.
Kinitawowi: Kill him.
Mr_Bump: I suspect that might be a bit unfair.
