Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Edinburgh Party January 28-30 2005
Callie: Amanda's pumping away on her airbed.
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Lucretia: *after choking* I'm fine, I have wine.
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Lucretia: It's a lesbian, gay marriage, smoking cliché.
Gandalf: With guns!
Lucretia: And abortion!
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Uberuce: Oh, I've got two hammers under my bed now.
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Uberuce: So why were you going into extraordinarily hardcore porn shops with your Mum?!
Steorra: Oh, she's into that kind of stuff.
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Lucretia: Oh, I've been through a lot. Do you want a coconut or something?
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Pixie: Shut up!
Uberuce: Harsh!
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Lucretia: Next door we have a ballet dancer.
Uberuce: No, tell the truth. It's a Bally dancer!
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Lucretia: *upon reading the quotebook* I said so much more funny stuff than that!
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Uberuce: Record that faithfully, Simon! I, comma, Simon, comma, a cunt...
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Lucretia: *to Gandalf* I take it you're indiscriminate - I fucked up! Really badly! I mean discriminate!
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Lucretia & Steorra: Spoon face, spoon face!
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Lucretia: Write that in your little book!
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Bally: My pen has been warmed by your loins!
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Lucretia: No self-respecting monkey would do some of the shit I do.
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Bally: I am on the unacceptable nipple list.
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Uberuce: Because I call all my prison bitches "Pedro".
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Lucretia: My brother used to hold his willy all the time - last summer.*
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Uberuce: *on Enemy Mine* It's like a buddy movie with an alien on a deserted planet.
Bally: I'm sold!
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James Callis' character on Bridget Jones' Diary: Have we got a big surprise for you!
Lucretia: Your penis!
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Uberuce: That's a thought! Whenever I have a hard-on the rest of me must shrink!
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Lucretia: He's sitting on the passenger seat! That's such a cute thing to do.#
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Bally: Bruce, don't get geeky on me. I've just cleaned these trousers.
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Uberuce: Of course, I could always get a prison bitch called "Pedro".
Lucretia: Comedy look to left.
*Uberuce growls lustfully at Bally, who was to the left of Uberuce*
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Lucretia: Did I used to piss after sex?
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Steorra: I dream scenes on TV shows before they happen.
Lucretia: That's cool!
Steorra: No it's not! It's always fucking Neighbours.
Lucretia: No, that's cool!
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Uberuce: It does make you wonder what percentage of Internet purchases are made pissed.
Lucretia: I bought a Chilean orphan!
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Steorra: *on the scene in which Iceman cools Wolverine's Dr. Pepper* See, I really want one of him in my kitchen cupboard.
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Lucretia: Bruce, have you heard of Germaine Greer?
Uberuce: Yes. Nice tits.
*Bally reaches for quotebook*
Lucretia: Don't encourage the prick!
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*Uberuce says something geeky*
Lucretia: So, when's your girlfriend coming around?
Uberuce: Yeah, she'll be around later. Three or four years.
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Uberuce: Yes. Hugh Jackman is the electromagnetic spectrum.
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Uberuce: Company policy, I'm having a wank and I'm having it here.
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Steorra: I am so shallow. In fact I'm basically just a film of water...
* Lucretia's brother is 19 years old.
# James Callis' character's actions in Bridget Jones' Diary.
Lucretia: *after choking* I'm fine, I have wine.
Lucretia: It's a lesbian, gay marriage, smoking cliché.
Gandalf: With guns!
Lucretia: And abortion!
Uberuce: Oh, I've got two hammers under my bed now.
Uberuce: So why were you going into extraordinarily hardcore porn shops with your Mum?!
Steorra: Oh, she's into that kind of stuff.
Lucretia: Oh, I've been through a lot. Do you want a coconut or something?
Pixie: Shut up!
Uberuce: Harsh!
Lucretia: Next door we have a ballet dancer.
Uberuce: No, tell the truth. It's a Bally dancer!
Lucretia: *upon reading the quotebook* I said so much more funny stuff than that!
Uberuce: Record that faithfully, Simon! I, comma, Simon, comma, a cunt...
Lucretia: *to Gandalf* I take it you're indiscriminate - I fucked up! Really badly! I mean discriminate!
Lucretia & Steorra: Spoon face, spoon face!
Lucretia: Write that in your little book!
Bally: My pen has been warmed by your loins!
Lucretia: No self-respecting monkey would do some of the shit I do.
Bally: I am on the unacceptable nipple list.
Uberuce: Because I call all my prison bitches "Pedro".
Lucretia: My brother used to hold his willy all the time - last summer.*
Uberuce: *on Enemy Mine* It's like a buddy movie with an alien on a deserted planet.
Bally: I'm sold!
James Callis' character on Bridget Jones' Diary: Have we got a big surprise for you!
Lucretia: Your penis!
Uberuce: That's a thought! Whenever I have a hard-on the rest of me must shrink!
Lucretia: He's sitting on the passenger seat! That's such a cute thing to do.#
Bally: Bruce, don't get geeky on me. I've just cleaned these trousers.
Uberuce: Of course, I could always get a prison bitch called "Pedro".
Lucretia: Comedy look to left.
*Uberuce growls lustfully at Bally, who was to the left of Uberuce*
Lucretia: Did I used to piss after sex?
Steorra: I dream scenes on TV shows before they happen.
Lucretia: That's cool!
Steorra: No it's not! It's always fucking Neighbours.
Lucretia: No, that's cool!
Uberuce: It does make you wonder what percentage of Internet purchases are made pissed.
Lucretia: I bought a Chilean orphan!
Steorra: *on the scene in which Iceman cools Wolverine's Dr. Pepper* See, I really want one of him in my kitchen cupboard.
Lucretia: Bruce, have you heard of Germaine Greer?
Uberuce: Yes. Nice tits.
*Bally reaches for quotebook*
Lucretia: Don't encourage the prick!
*Uberuce says something geeky*
Lucretia: So, when's your girlfriend coming around?
Uberuce: Yeah, she'll be around later. Three or four years.
Uberuce: Yes. Hugh Jackman is the electromagnetic spectrum.
Uberuce: Company policy, I'm having a wank and I'm having it here.
Steorra: I am so shallow. In fact I'm basically just a film of water...
* Lucretia's brother is 19 years old.
# James Callis' character's actions in Bridget Jones' Diary.
The Kinitawowi & Bally Show, episode 11
*K&B finish watching Electric Six's Gay Bar video*
K: Freddie Mercury is spinning in his grave.
B: At very high speed.
K: Brian May is spinning in his wallet.
Recorded in the house, Stockport, 17/12/04
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*K on why he shaved off his beard*
K: It was getting in the way of my food.
Recorded in the house, Stockport, 18/12/04
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*B eats a Celebration-sized Bounty*
B: Bounty, the taste of... coconut encased in chocolate.
K: Bounty, the taste of kitchen roll.
Recorded in the house, Stockport, 6/1/05
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K&B are discussing scenes in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home*
K: I believe that transparent aluminium now exists.
B: Jesus!
K: No, just modern science.
Recorded in the house, Stockport, 11/1/05
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*K&B are discussing the film Ransom*
B: Who was in it? Gibson, Russo...
K: One of the mad Gary people was in it.
B: Mad Gary people?!
K: Sinise, Oldman... they all bleed together after a while.
Recorded in the house, Stockport, 18/1/05
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B: Make yourself at home! Belch. Fart.
K: Drink milk from carton.
Recorded in the house, Stockport, 27/1/05
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*K&B are eating ice cream; K is finishing it off by eating from the tub*
B: You're gonna start licking that in a minute.
K: I was half toying with getting a slice of bread.
Recorded in the house, Stockport, 27/1/05
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*K&B are discussing new Diet Coke with Lime*
B: Eventually they'll get round to doing all the fruit flavours with Coke.
K: We already have Cherry Coke.
B: *adopting seductive advert tones* New Banana Coke!
K: *adopting seductive advert tones* It doesn't taste shit, honest!
Recorded in train station, Carlisle, 30/1/05
---
*Kinitawowi's List Of Richness*
K: Dole scum, broke bastards, students, me, you [Bally], civilised society, the rich, the super rich, the monied, William Henry Gates III.
Recorded in a Virgin train between Carlisle and Blackburn, 30/1/05
K: Freddie Mercury is spinning in his grave.
B: At very high speed.
K: Brian May is spinning in his wallet.
Recorded in the house, Stockport, 17/12/04
*K on why he shaved off his beard*
K: It was getting in the way of my food.
Recorded in the house, Stockport, 18/12/04
*B eats a Celebration-sized Bounty*
B: Bounty, the taste of... coconut encased in chocolate.
K: Bounty, the taste of kitchen roll.
Recorded in the house, Stockport, 6/1/05
K&B are discussing scenes in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home*
K: I believe that transparent aluminium now exists.
B: Jesus!
K: No, just modern science.
Recorded in the house, Stockport, 11/1/05
*K&B are discussing the film Ransom*
B: Who was in it? Gibson, Russo...
K: One of the mad Gary people was in it.
B: Mad Gary people?!
K: Sinise, Oldman... they all bleed together after a while.
Recorded in the house, Stockport, 18/1/05
B: Make yourself at home! Belch. Fart.
K: Drink milk from carton.
Recorded in the house, Stockport, 27/1/05
*K&B are eating ice cream; K is finishing it off by eating from the tub*
B: You're gonna start licking that in a minute.
K: I was half toying with getting a slice of bread.
Recorded in the house, Stockport, 27/1/05
*K&B are discussing new Diet Coke with Lime*
B: Eventually they'll get round to doing all the fruit flavours with Coke.
K: We already have Cherry Coke.
B: *adopting seductive advert tones* New Banana Coke!
K: *adopting seductive advert tones* It doesn't taste shit, honest!
Recorded in train station, Carlisle, 30/1/05
*Kinitawowi's List Of Richness*
K: Dole scum, broke bastards, students, me, you [Bally], civilised society, the rich, the super rich, the monied, William Henry Gates III.
Recorded in a Virgin train between Carlisle and Blackburn, 30/1/05
