Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Stoke Party, February 11-12 2006
*Tenchi_Muyo, Kinitawowi and Bally are watching new Doctor Who when the Doctor emerges from the TARDIS onto a street*
Bally: O'course, this is the back end of Cardiff.
Tenchi_Muyo: There is no front end of Cardiff.
Kinitawowi: I am pre-caffeinated.
*pause*
Kinitawowi: Although it appears I am functioning, I'm having difficulty seeing.
*Tenchi_Muyo, Kinitawowi and Bally are watchingi Top Of The Pops: Reloaded*
Tenchi_Muyo: You'd say "yes" to Fearne Cotton though, wouldn't you?
Kinitawowi: You take what you can get.
*Tenchi_Muyo, Kinitawowi and Bally are in Asda; Tenchi_Muyo calls the others over to the world foods section*
Kinitawowi: [putting on Father Jack voice] Reverse! Reverse!
Bally: [putting on Father Jack voice] Naans! Naans! Reverse! Reverse!
*whilst watching pretentious rugby highlights*
mUrt: Ahhhh. Love...
CosmicAvatar: ...across a crowded field.
Kinitawowi: Would you like to meet gay men in your area?
*Tenchi_Muyo is moving in front of the TV and affecting the reception*
mUrt: I reckon we should take you to Dixon's and really screw them up.
*on Italian rugby player Ramiro Pez*
Tenchi_Muyo: If you stamp on his foot, does a sweet come out?
*on BBC sports presenter John Inverdale*
mUrt: The camera's gonna come back on him and he's leaning out of the window, saying, "Go, my brethren!"
CosmicAvatar: I just sit here and out it comes.
CosmicAvatar: You have poured many beer. S.
*mUrt's phone goes off*
mUrt: Ooh, pardon me.
*mUrt is on phone*
mUrt: Who rocks the party?
*pause*
mUrt: It was just a general question.
CosmicAvatar: [to Tenchi_Muyo] What are yours [cremators] called?
mUrt: Burny, Crispy and Toasty.
mUrt:Y'know, I've never really understood rugby rules.
Bored_Mike: There are rules?!
*on a particular slow-motion replay during rugby*
Kinitawowi: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a lunchbox!
CosmicAvatar: Let's face it, we're not watching for the ball.
mUrt: No, we watch for the whole package.
*on the possibility of flying tackles hurting stationary tackles*
Del: Can they wear some sort of protection?
Sam_Spade: They probably store it somewhere.
*England score their first try and are celebrating*
CosmicAvatar: Snog him! And I want to see tongue!
Del: If you want to find an NHS dentist -
Kinitawowi: Basically step outside and find the queue.
Kinitawowi: What do people think a toilet is going to smell of?
*pause*
CosmicAvatar: Pine?
mUrt: I crap pine all the time.
*during pretentious end credits sequence for rugby*
mUrt: "Yes, we are very nice men. We stamp on your face."
Kinitawowi: You can't get Anglia TV in Norfolk.
Sam_Spade: Probably a blessing.
mUrt: Y'know, Scottish money used to confuse me when I worked at Alton Towers. I'd turn the note over and go, "That's never right. The Queen doesn't have a beard."
*Bally is about to do a chippy run; Kinitawowi hands over a fiver*
Kinitawowi: You know what I want.
mUrt: You can't get a prostitute for that money.
*holding up enormous chip shop sausage*
mUrt: Now that is a sausage!
CosmicAvatar: I've seen bigger.
*Tenchi_Muyo is playing Nintendogs, the artificial canine simulator*
CosmicAvatar: Are you spanking your puppy, Andy?
Tenchi_Muyo: No, I'm stroking it.
*the film Troy is put on*
Tenchi_Muyo: Those are bow-firing nipples, those are!
Del: [to Tenchi_Muyo] Did you just say, "He's a one-goat bloke"?
mUrt: We all have our limits.
*on the possibilities of a makeover programme doing up Achilles' hut*
mUrt: I see trellis, a few drapes... a rotting corpse.
*innuendo is taking place*
Kinitawowi: Don't worry, his main plan is to cover you in custard.
Sam_Spade: OK, yeah.
Gandalf: See, I was really surprised that Hector died. I don't know the story at all.
CosmicAvatar: Even after you've seen this [Troy], you still don't know the story.
mUrt: Why has his Dad [Priam] come over for a chat?
Bally: He wants his son's body back so he can give him a proper funeral.
*pause*
Bally: That maybe the least funny thing I've said all day.
Gandalf: No, you've said far less funny things than that.
mUrt: [The Simpsons' Mr] Burns has turned into Prince Charles in my mind.
*final battle scene in Troy; Orlando Bloom's character and Sean Bean's character are on-screen on opposing sides*
Gandalf: Boromir! I thought you were dead!
*Firefly is on*
Captain Mal Reynolds: [to Inara] Did they teach you that in whore academy?
Bally: It's like Fame Academy, only with an 18 certificate.
*the gang are discussing Empire's Top 201 films*
Tenchi_Muyo: The first rule of Fight Club is: you don't vote for Fight Club.
Gandalf: What was wrong with the radiators being on? Were they making clanking noises?
Bally: Amanda was complaining that they sucked all the moisture out of her face, kind of like a heat vampire.
CosmicAvatar: Or an over-enthusiastic teenager.
*Kinitawowi emerges*
CosmicAvatar: There's pizza in the oven.
Tenchi_Muyo: Unless it's got coffee beans on it, I bet Dave's not interested.
*more Firefly*
Shepherd Book: You're going to burn in a special level of Hell, reserved for child molesters and people who talk at the theatre.
Bally: I'm doomed.
*pause*
Bally: For talking in the theatre.
Kinitawowi: I was going to say, "Which children have you been molesting recently?"?!
Bally: O'course, this is the back end of Cardiff.
Tenchi_Muyo: There is no front end of Cardiff.
Kinitawowi: I am pre-caffeinated.
*pause*
Kinitawowi: Although it appears I am functioning, I'm having difficulty seeing.
*Tenchi_Muyo, Kinitawowi and Bally are watchingi Top Of The Pops: Reloaded*
Tenchi_Muyo: You'd say "yes" to Fearne Cotton though, wouldn't you?
Kinitawowi: You take what you can get.
*Tenchi_Muyo, Kinitawowi and Bally are in Asda; Tenchi_Muyo calls the others over to the world foods section*
Kinitawowi: [putting on Father Jack voice] Reverse! Reverse!
Bally: [putting on Father Jack voice] Naans! Naans! Reverse! Reverse!
*whilst watching pretentious rugby highlights*
mUrt: Ahhhh. Love...
CosmicAvatar: ...across a crowded field.
Kinitawowi: Would you like to meet gay men in your area?
*Tenchi_Muyo is moving in front of the TV and affecting the reception*
mUrt: I reckon we should take you to Dixon's and really screw them up.
*on Italian rugby player Ramiro Pez*
Tenchi_Muyo: If you stamp on his foot, does a sweet come out?
*on BBC sports presenter John Inverdale*
mUrt: The camera's gonna come back on him and he's leaning out of the window, saying, "Go, my brethren!"
CosmicAvatar: I just sit here and out it comes.
CosmicAvatar: You have poured many beer. S.
*mUrt's phone goes off*
mUrt: Ooh, pardon me.
*mUrt is on phone*
mUrt: Who rocks the party?
*pause*
mUrt: It was just a general question.
CosmicAvatar: [to Tenchi_Muyo] What are yours [cremators] called?
mUrt: Burny, Crispy and Toasty.
mUrt:Y'know, I've never really understood rugby rules.
Bored_Mike: There are rules?!
*on a particular slow-motion replay during rugby*
Kinitawowi: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a lunchbox!
CosmicAvatar: Let's face it, we're not watching for the ball.
mUrt: No, we watch for the whole package.
*on the possibility of flying tackles hurting stationary tackles*
Del: Can they wear some sort of protection?
Sam_Spade: They probably store it somewhere.
*England score their first try and are celebrating*
CosmicAvatar: Snog him! And I want to see tongue!
Del: If you want to find an NHS dentist -
Kinitawowi: Basically step outside and find the queue.
Kinitawowi: What do people think a toilet is going to smell of?
*pause*
CosmicAvatar: Pine?
mUrt: I crap pine all the time.
*during pretentious end credits sequence for rugby*
mUrt: "Yes, we are very nice men. We stamp on your face."
Kinitawowi: You can't get Anglia TV in Norfolk.
Sam_Spade: Probably a blessing.
mUrt: Y'know, Scottish money used to confuse me when I worked at Alton Towers. I'd turn the note over and go, "That's never right. The Queen doesn't have a beard."
*Bally is about to do a chippy run; Kinitawowi hands over a fiver*
Kinitawowi: You know what I want.
mUrt: You can't get a prostitute for that money.
*holding up enormous chip shop sausage*
mUrt: Now that is a sausage!
CosmicAvatar: I've seen bigger.
*Tenchi_Muyo is playing Nintendogs, the artificial canine simulator*
CosmicAvatar: Are you spanking your puppy, Andy?
Tenchi_Muyo: No, I'm stroking it.
*the film Troy is put on*
Tenchi_Muyo: Those are bow-firing nipples, those are!
Del: [to Tenchi_Muyo] Did you just say, "He's a one-goat bloke"?
mUrt: We all have our limits.
*on the possibilities of a makeover programme doing up Achilles' hut*
mUrt: I see trellis, a few drapes... a rotting corpse.
*innuendo is taking place*
Kinitawowi: Don't worry, his main plan is to cover you in custard.
Sam_Spade: OK, yeah.
Gandalf: See, I was really surprised that Hector died. I don't know the story at all.
CosmicAvatar: Even after you've seen this [Troy], you still don't know the story.
mUrt: Why has his Dad [Priam] come over for a chat?
Bally: He wants his son's body back so he can give him a proper funeral.
*pause*
Bally: That maybe the least funny thing I've said all day.
Gandalf: No, you've said far less funny things than that.
mUrt: [The Simpsons' Mr] Burns has turned into Prince Charles in my mind.
*final battle scene in Troy; Orlando Bloom's character and Sean Bean's character are on-screen on opposing sides*
Gandalf: Boromir! I thought you were dead!
*Firefly is on*
Captain Mal Reynolds: [to Inara] Did they teach you that in whore academy?
Bally: It's like Fame Academy, only with an 18 certificate.
*the gang are discussing Empire's Top 201 films*
Tenchi_Muyo: The first rule of Fight Club is: you don't vote for Fight Club.
Gandalf: What was wrong with the radiators being on? Were they making clanking noises?
Bally: Amanda was complaining that they sucked all the moisture out of her face, kind of like a heat vampire.
CosmicAvatar: Or an over-enthusiastic teenager.
*Kinitawowi emerges*
CosmicAvatar: There's pizza in the oven.
Tenchi_Muyo: Unless it's got coffee beans on it, I bet Dave's not interested.
*more Firefly*
Shepherd Book: You're going to burn in a special level of Hell, reserved for child molesters and people who talk at the theatre.
Bally: I'm doomed.
*pause*
Bally: For talking in the theatre.
Kinitawowi: I was going to say, "Which children have you been molesting recently?"?!
