Thursday, July 07, 2005
Edinburgh Party July 1-3 2005
Uberuce: [in deep Braveheart-style voice] You remind me of my daughter.
CosmicAvatar: Geddoff!
Later...
Uberuce: [to CosmicAvatar] I honestly don't remember doing anything to you. Did I lick your face?
CosmicAvatar: No.
Uberuce: Ahh, that's okay, then.
Lucretia: Now, Bruce, remember she is a married woman.
*pause*
Lucretia: And therefore an easier target.
CosmicAvatar: [to Lucretia] You have herpes!
Lucretia: [to Kahlan] You told on me!
*People are watching Live 8*
CosmicAvatar: [in the style of Bob Geldof] Give us your focking money now!
All: PEOPLE ARE DYING!!
Kahlan: Feed the Welsh!
Lucretia: [describing an exhibition she and Kahlan attended] And I can't work out what's wrong with this guy...
Kahlan: He had tits.
*people are reaching for food to soak up some of the alcohol*
Kahlan: Eating is cheating!
Uberuce: Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt [continues for several minutes]
CosmicAvatar: Prick.
Uberuce: I can make a pair of shorts out of you. [points at Liefde] The scrotum component can come from here.
*Uberuce has started doing the rounds of the WD females and taking pictures of their cleavages*
Uberuce: [to Kahlan] Tits, please.
CosmicAvatar: Bruce is a bust conductor.
Kahlan: [to Steorra] There's a special place in hell for people like you.
Steorra: Cool.
Uberuce: Yes, there are now eight levels of hell.
Steorra: Is there wine? And bosoms in this hell?
Uberuce: Yes, but they're in a shop that says Back In Five Minutes....For All Eternity!
Lucretia: Please! Dave! Please! Tell me everything you've ever done sexually, now! Quick!
*heavy silence*
Uberuce: We're talking fantasy shag, not been there, done that, wiped the shit off my cock shag.
Uberuce: You know I'd never hurt you. Unless sexually.
Uberuce: My dad fisted me every day until I was fifteen.
Steorra: That explains a lot.
Uberuce: It made a man of me. [Points to Kahlan] I can pass a turd the size of your thigh, madam.
Uberuce: For the record, my dad is the nicest man you could hope to meet. He never sexually assaulted me as a child.
*pause*
Uberuce: I asked him loads of times...
*Various people are taking turns to stick their heads out of the window and shout stuff at the top of their lungs*
Renfield: Burn them!!
Jenny: Scrotum!!
Uberuce: Tits!!
Jenny: Genitalia!!!
CosmicAvatar: Geddoff!
Later...
Uberuce: [to CosmicAvatar] I honestly don't remember doing anything to you. Did I lick your face?
CosmicAvatar: No.
Uberuce: Ahh, that's okay, then.
Lucretia: Now, Bruce, remember she is a married woman.
*pause*
Lucretia: And therefore an easier target.
CosmicAvatar: [to Lucretia] You have herpes!
Lucretia: [to Kahlan] You told on me!
*People are watching Live 8*
CosmicAvatar: [in the style of Bob Geldof] Give us your focking money now!
All: PEOPLE ARE DYING!!
Kahlan: Feed the Welsh!
Lucretia: [describing an exhibition she and Kahlan attended] And I can't work out what's wrong with this guy...
Kahlan: He had tits.
*people are reaching for food to soak up some of the alcohol*
Kahlan: Eating is cheating!
Uberuce: Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt [continues for several minutes]
CosmicAvatar: Prick.
Uberuce: I can make a pair of shorts out of you. [points at Liefde] The scrotum component can come from here.
*Uberuce has started doing the rounds of the WD females and taking pictures of their cleavages*
Uberuce: [to Kahlan] Tits, please.
CosmicAvatar: Bruce is a bust conductor.
Kahlan: [to Steorra] There's a special place in hell for people like you.
Steorra: Cool.
Uberuce: Yes, there are now eight levels of hell.
Steorra: Is there wine? And bosoms in this hell?
Uberuce: Yes, but they're in a shop that says Back In Five Minutes....For All Eternity!
Lucretia: Please! Dave! Please! Tell me everything you've ever done sexually, now! Quick!
*heavy silence*
Uberuce: We're talking fantasy shag, not been there, done that, wiped the shit off my cock shag.
Uberuce: You know I'd never hurt you. Unless sexually.
Uberuce: My dad fisted me every day until I was fifteen.
Steorra: That explains a lot.
Uberuce: It made a man of me. [Points to Kahlan] I can pass a turd the size of your thigh, madam.
Uberuce: For the record, my dad is the nicest man you could hope to meet. He never sexually assaulted me as a child.
*pause*
Uberuce: I asked him loads of times...
*Various people are taking turns to stick their heads out of the window and shout stuff at the top of their lungs*
Renfield: Burn them!!
Jenny: Scrotum!!
Uberuce: Tits!!
Jenny: Genitalia!!!
