WD Wit

Kinitawowi says:
My Chicken Pasta Bake last night carried the following instructions.
Kinitawowi says:
1) Remove cardboard outer, and pierce film lid.
Kinitawowi says:
2) Put in microwave on full power for 2 1/2 minutes.
Kinitawowi says:
3) Gently agitate product, and heat for a further 2 1/2 minutes.
Kinitawowi says:
How do you agitate food, anyway?!
Kinitawowi says:
"HEY! CHICKEN!" *points at chicken* "I FUCKED YOUR MUM!"

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*K&B are discussing who will be in charge of Britain after the elections*

B: Blair'll want to see the Euro through. At least before Gordon can come in and undo it.
K: I don't buy that. I think Blair would prefer the dollar.

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*K has been meticulously cleaning a chocolate stain from his sofa seat for about seven minutes*

K: Robinson, you're a genius.
B: Something very bad is about to happen...

*K picks up cushion seat and flips it over*

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K: How would you know if I died?
B: Matt?
K: Nah, he'd just go to bed, saying, "I'll deal with the smell in the morning. Maybe."

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B: Do you know what I propose?
K: Sleep?
B: No.
K: Marriage?

*pause*

K: Say something quickly.

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*K&B have just taken out the rubbish*

B: Those who cannot speak are mute. Those who cannot hear are deaf. Those who cannot see are blind. Those who cannot smell - what are they called?
K: Lucky.

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B: Realisation is the first step on the path to cure. Of course, I don't know what the fuck the next step is.
K: Relapse, usually.

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B: Because Vegas, as we learn from TV, is wall-to-wall casinos and strip clubs. There may be the odd hotel here and there.
K: Emphasis on 'ho'.

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*St. Elmo's Fire (Man In Motion) by John Parr is playing*

K: Sometimes accredited to Meat Loaf, which is probably why you don't like it.
B: Yes, it's certainly got his pomp. And by "pomp", I mean "small penis".